2012 was the year i became little.
and the truth was... i was always little. i just didn't truly know it before.
moving makes you feel little. you walk in to a room and no one knows you. what you can do. your talents and abilities and accomplishments. there is an allure of starting over and living a life fresh in a place with no mistakes, but... really i have just felt little. so i guess i was putting a lot of stock in being known.
identity is so wrapped up in what we do and what we have done. but we can do nothing and be nothing and He would still choose us. what do we really have to offer the God of all creation? the "I am enough" generation scares me. because we aren't and never will be. but He is enough for us. our identity, rooted in His grace and love, is enough.
it is has been hard for me to blog in such a state. when my whole life feels so small, i can't imagine what is the interest in sharing. so maybe i turned blogging into something unhealthy? i forgot that none of this is about me.
it is all about our God. to all glory be given.
i also forgot that i don't have to share the depths of my heart to be real. we might be struggling, but those smiling pictures of our latest adventure aren't fake. we might be sorrowful, but i still see the lovely in the broken and i am not being insincere when i praise Him for that. if i can not share our current struggle because it is too raw or too private, that is okay.
so this finding my voice journey. it is about finding my now-little-but-real voice. and it doesn't feel quite comfortable yet. but i probably need to remember that discomfort is part of the deal.
i am joining the nester and will be blogging every single day in october!
full list of posts here.