home(sick) for the holidays

 finding creative inspiration
amidst the favorite-time-of-year thoughts, my heart is heavy.  i knew it would be hard.  not only are memories of our old life packed away with the christmas decorations, but unmet hopes and plans for a future that will not be.  i know we have been given much.  but i can still grieve for a life not willingly given up.  and that is where my problem lies.  i still see this move as a life not chosen.  i did not ask to be uprooted from people and a place we loved.  my soul still asks why.

finding creative inspiration
finding creative inspiration
but we are here.  and it is silly and unwise to let that question take up too much space.  time and new memories will continue to soften the loneliness.  until then, i need to remember that my home is not anywhere on this earth.  i do not belong here.  i am a stranger in a land that will not satisfy.  so homesickness will be a constant companion.  a reminder that there is something greater to come.   

but we are here.  so i gather pretties and i hock together inspiration.  this is what beauty finding and joy choosing in this not-my-home home looks like today.  pulling together bits and bobs to help me find my creative footing.  this is healing.

finding creative inspiration
and i look to a song for the words that sing for my heart.  this advent poetry is doing the job mightily. 
a weary me rejoices.

finding creative inspiration


Amy said...

Love you! That's all. :)

lyss said...

hugs. and prayers for that sweet not-home-yet notion to never leave us, and let Him soften the hurts and homesickness with his peace. i hear ya and get ya....love to you today. love your creative touches.

Kristin said...

I am so glad you made the move, but trust me, I know how hard it is leaving behind something that you weren't ready to. But selfishly, I can't wait to make memories with you and your sweet family! :)

Amanda said...

again putting our thoughts into words - praying for you and your family. . .thanks for the reminder of where our hope and home really are.

Cara said...

This is so beautiful! Thank you for sharing.

Janiene Bishop said...

this is amazing

Post a Comment

hey there. i love to read your comments! thanks for stopping by!