mama's day, honduras, and unemployment

 the rosebush that is not mine

breakfast in the backyard trumped breakfast in bed this morning.
i could not wait for the eggs to be scrambled and the tortillas to be warmed and the juice to be poured while the warm sun called and the crazy loud birds sang and everything was green, green, green.

spring mornings can be so awe inspiring.
all of this new life bursting forth from ground and branch.

but it was not just the beauty that beckoned.
my freshly woken mind was cluttered and i craved peace more than my pillow.

but the sight of our potager and an unfinished tree fort made my heart ache a bit.
i love this little lot of land we call our own.
but i know it is not really mine at all, for all is a gift and i need to unclench my hands from all that i love too much.

but my heart still ached a bit.

a tray of yummy food to feed the belly and soul arrived.
little voices told me, "happy mama's day!"
little hands drew me sweet pictures.
hugs, kisses, and bedhead to spare.

that heart ache eased.

jesse was to leave us for honduras this afternoon.
a week of perception shifting and eye opening and heart filling service.
a week of relationship building and God moving and lives changing.

but instead he will be staying home.
instead he will be looking for a new job.
 being laid off from work with no notice is a punch in the gut.

how are we doing?
shocked and maybe a bit numb.
but also maybe good and hopeful.
because we have the opportunity to trust.
finger, by finger, unclenching our hands and holding them up in praise to the One we love and serve.
i am not trying to be rose colored glasses about this.
it is a big deal.
there will likely be some harsh realities to face.
what's new, i ask.
but this is not the unbearable.
we'll be wise with our spending and prayerful of our planning.
we'll return the rose bush to the nursery instead of planting it for my mama's day gift.
this is life.

His promises hold true and we will still seek to bring Him glory.
our goal is to find a new job close by.
but if glory-bringing means moving across the country, we will do it with joy and trust.
 and lots of deep breaths. 

happy mama's day, friends.
this post from last year pretty much sums up my thoughts on it all.



Kristin said...

I'm so sorry! Praying God will grant you all His peace and His blessing on your husband's job search.

nicole i said...

you are carved in the palm of HIS mighty hand, you and your jesse and your littles, and there you (all) shall remain.

searching for seamless said...

So sorry about the loss of your husband's job, but so encouraged by your faith in the struggle. Thank you for sharing so honestly.

amy said...

wow, i am so sorry. i absolutely love your perspective though. what you said here is my favorite: but if glory-bringing means moving across the country, we will do it with joy and trust.
 and lots of deep breaths. 

Rachel said...

Praying for you guys. God has it all under control. Enjoy your season of togetherness for the time being. God's plan is far greater for you guys than what you could have even imagined.

Jenny said...

Times like this when we are forced to cling to Him with all that we have usually prove to be some of the sweetest times in our lives.  Challenging, yes. But it is the good kind of hard and challenging, the kind that shapes us, gives us strength and makes us look more like Jesus.

Stephanie Lockwood said...

I am so sad to hear this.  I will be praying Annalea...praying for your whole family.  Big hug to you. I know He has something big for you and your family through this. xoxo 

cailan said...

Oh Annalea, I'm so sorry.   I pray that the Lord will be your very present help, and this will be a grace-filled time of faith-strengthening for your family.  Praying you will not have to move...but if that is not possible, perhaps you will move to Iowa? Thank you for reminding me to trust that God has His glory and our good in mind in all these things...our move included. with love, cailan

thelittlegrayhouse said...

I am so sorry to hear this. Want you to know I am praying for you and your family. I know you don't want to move but Chattanooga, TN is a pretty cool place to live, just sayin'   We would love to have you move down south. :)

Adina said...

It's a hard thing...the letting go. I'm dabbling in it myself. Reading "One Thousand Gifts" helped and inspired me. Praying for peace for you.

Amy Bramer said...

i am so sorry. it is so scary, the not knowing what or where or when but i know that you have a very strong faith and your family will be fine. i will be thinking of you and praying that something turns up very soon! XO

Erin Adams said...

Oh Annalea, I am sorry to hear about the job news.  I am praying for you sweet family!  hugs

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