a full heart

 one of my blessings

thank you.
your love and support pretty much rocked me.

i wrote the letter primarily to give future luca a small glimpse into my today heart.  a record of who he is.  memories to hold close and provide understanding. a bit of my love contained in words.

i also wrote it to give others a small glimpse at our reality.  i have been censoring many posts and tweets and status updates these past two months and it became increasingly difficult not to share.  this isn't a craft blog or homeschooling blog, but a my-life-as-annalea blog.  hence the whole blog name.  while aspergers is definitely part of luca's story, it is also mine.  much prayer went into what and how to share.  it came down to the fact that there is no shame here.  nothing to be embarrassed about.  labels aren't bad if used correctly.  i want to make that clear to my son as he grows.  he has been fearfully and wonderfully made.

and i know that by sharing our life, another's might be impacted.  i have read numerous stories over the past year that have given me insight and encouragement.  thank you to those who have shared.  my goal here was to be real and authentic, yet respectful and sensitive.

several of your comments mentioned how blessed luca was to have me as his mama.  man, did that feel like a punch to the gut.  so often i feel like a failure.  so often i lose my temper or become impatient or act out of selfishness.  i know i am imperfect.  amazing that grace, indeed.

all this to say. . .
i am blessed to have luca as my son.
i am blessed to have gia as my daughter.
i am blessed to have enzo as my son.
and i believe He can bless their lives through me.

and, once again, thank you.


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