i am not enough

snowy me

i am insecure. 

i wish i wasn't.  but i am.  my self-confidence is like a weeble wobble.

i wonder if i am clever enough . . . funny enough . . . cool enough. . . strong enough. . . kind enough. 

am i enough?

i am wondering if you might think i have it all together.  that my house looks picture perfect.  that my littles dress in cute clothes each day.  that we cuddle in forts every afternoon reading and learning.  that i have all these great ideas to repurpose clothing and make neat gifts and create pretty shoppe items.

please, please don't read me for those reasons.

i have closets that would be dangerous to open.  my floors haven't been mopped in over a month.  i yell at my kids.  sometimes i hide in the kitchen while they fight.  pajamas are worn for 48 hours straight.  i feel uncreative and unmotivated and wonder why i can't get my sewing machine tension right.  and yell at it too for good measure.  i miss birthdays.  we even eat frozen pizza.

not picture perfect.  that is reality.

but so is this. . . i try to make our home a sweet and lovely place for our family.  i want to make beautiful things from life's cast-offs.  i strive to create simple and satisfying projects.  i attempt to document this journey.

i long to be a better wife, mama, and homemaker.

i share these things with you. i hope to offer inspiration and encourage confidence.  i desire community.  i would love to see us embrace what we have been given.  to choose joy.  to find beauty.  in the every day, every hour, and every minute.

i tell my story.  a story of believing and following and stumbling and praying.  sometimes getting it right.  often messing things up.  that is what you will find here.

i am not enough.  not in the way that i will ever be the cleverest, funniest, coolest, strongest, or kindest.  i won't have the best house or most obedient children.  i won't be the greatest homeschooler or the most creative person.

and then i remember . . . i don't need to be.

because Christ is enough.

i remember that i am perfectly secure in Him.

i don't need to be enough.

and neither do you.

praying that our confidence won't be placed on a wobbly "self" but rooted in an unshakable God.


ssimpson said...

What a nice reminder to all of us buzzing through blog land, peeking into the lives of others that often seem sooo....... PERFECT.  It is exhausting!  Thank you for being real here, and reminding us that Christ is the only Perfect One!  :0)

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