why i am not here

i am feeling absent from the blogosphere.  both here and at your place.  also on facebook and twitter.  i drop in for a moment, maybe make a quick comment and then check out again. 

i am like an on-line ninja.  here are a few reasons why. . .

1)  christmas!!!  i am finishing up handmade gifts, checking that list twice and all that jazz.  i used to try to finish it all up before thanksgiving.  before baby number three came along.  before homeschooling.  i need a new plan for next year.  plus we have more going on in the schedule.  parties and baking and candle stick making.  (not really candle stick making, but i was feeling the rhyme.)

2)  gia's birthday!!!  when i am not working on christmas gifts, i am pulling together bits and pieces for a fun and low-key party for our almost four year old girl this weekend.  plus making a gift.  wowza.  that's a lot of crafting going on.

3)  fibromyalgia.  boo.  this one makes me sad.  i am just so wiped out.  2010 has definitely been one long flare-up. 

4)  i am a wimp. 

um, what?  well maybe it is the combined pressure of numbers 1-3 on top of regular life stuff, but i feel like hiding under a rock.  i don't want to write.  i don't want to share.  i have been intimidated by other bloggers.  i am tired of having great ideas and trying to form a vision, and seeing it all come to nothing.  not feeling good enough. 

i guess you could say i am not willing to set aside my plans for God's.  i am not trusting Him.  i don't want to change my plans.  His might be better, but i am a wimp and too scared of His great big unknown. 

goodness, i guess i just came out of hiding a bit. 

and that is why i love blogging.


Emily said...

Thanks for this post and for your honesty in it. I so relate to the desire to hide and hold on to what you want. It's nice to know I'm not alone!

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