one long day

this was one long day. i am tired and i even took a nap when jesse came home from work. luca slept in until 8:45, giving a quiet start to the morning. it is neat to spend a morning with gia by ourselves once in awhile - it reminds me of the mornings luca and i used to have together. i know gia will never have that same experience on a regular basis, but i want to make it special to her when we get the opportunity. we cuddled on the couch and played in the kitchen while i did the dishes.

when luca did wake up, we had an impromptu visit from my girlfriend megan and her little girl olivia (luca's favorite friend). yeah! adult converstaion is something i don't count on (at least in person and not just on the phone) on days like today when we have no plans out of the house. even during this playtime, i realized luca was going to have a rough day. the word "mine" became very popular and he had a breakdown near the end of the time where i had to tough out some screaming and kicking during timeout.

this little guy is trying so hard to figure out life and being two years old is tough. he wants independence but still needs help with so much. being a mom of a two year is tough too - you have this beautiful child who can turn into mr. hyde without any notice. you are constantly learning how to balance letting him figure things out for himself and when to give a helping hand.

it is so hard to consistently respond to luca the more tired i get. my fibromyalgia creates so much fatigue and i physically am worn out before i finish dealing with a situation. that is why a day like today is so hard, because it is not uncommon. luca wasn't out of control - he was being a toddler who needs love, patience, and training. i need to remember that luca needs these from me - especially now that he has a little sister to share my attention.

i know i made mistakes today. when i saw luca going down the road of frustration so early on, i needed to reevaluate my priorities - what do i really need to accomplish? on days like this, giving him more undivided atttention can really make the whole day smoother. he gets me all to himself - it fills this need in him - it builds trust in our relationship. i am not saying he "rules the roost" and becomes the focus of the entire family. just that sometimes allowances are made and flexibility is needed.

at the end of a day like today, i wonder can i do this? not on my own. i need to rely on those around me - for spiritual, emotional, and physical assistance. jesse fed the kids dinner, gave them baths, and put them to bed all by himself - he is a wonderful papi and a generous husband.

now for those of you here for the pictures and not my ramblings - i will treat you to some cuteness.

luca and i had a several minute conversation at lunch before i realized he was talking to me with two "snowman noses" (luca speak for carrots) sticking out of his mouth.

gia with her new favorite toy, our cat flaco. he loves that she can't move away from his nuzzles.


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